How should parents approach screen time? How do we guide our adolescents to make wise decisions and help them develop critical thinking skills as they consume their online diet? 

What boundaries should be established and how do we do this and survive the wrath of our teens? How do we grow our teens’ ability to develop intrinsic motivation to self-regulate their online use? 

In thinking about building successful screen time habits, perhaps a helpful place to start is considering your parent-teen relationship. Having a warm, trusting, open relationship with your child, working toward having a unified approach with your spouse around family rules, and being intentional in setting up family habits, all put you in good stead to discuss and develop safe screen time boundaries.  

Family habits don’t need to be expensive or extravagant, but include things such as no devices at the dinner table, having device-free days, and spending regular time one-to-one with your teen doing things they enjoy, and doing things outdoors together (not just having them tag along to do the grocery shopping or visiting relatives with you).

When these relational foundations are strong, families are better equipped to tackle the modern challenges of technology, where parents and teens can navigate screens with ‘togetherness’. 

Screen Time Considerations:

• Be aware of the themes, content, language, and imagery, and stick to the age restriction recommendations.
• Understand that social media and gaming content are designed to be addictive.
• Does this platform allow my child to talk to strangers?
• Does this game introduce gambling to my child? 
• How will I approach in-game purchasing?

Consider Your Non-Negotiables:

• No screens before bedtime
• No devices in bedrooms
• Devices to be used in ‘public’ locations in the family home

Protective Factors:

• The biggest protective factor you have against your teen being negatively influenced by social media is your RELATIONSHIP with them! 
• Please support your child to make real-life in-person friendships; for example, when your child has friends over, remove their devices and encourage them to spend device-free time with each other.
• Remind your child that having a few, but close friends is much healthier than wanting an online following of hundreds.
• Critical thinking skills - develop your teens’ ability to ask questions about what they are consuming (Who designed this and why? Is what I am reading credible? How do I know what I am watching is true?)
• Self-regulation and intrinsic motivation: help your children develop the ability to manage their usage without relying on others. 
• Understand issues regarding online safety.
• Spend time with your teen engaging with the content they are consuming. 
• Encourage traditional hobbies such as cooking, gardening, reading, outdoor recreation, learning musical instruments, crafts, puzzles, and building life skills).

Despite our best efforts, it is important to be aware that while the teenage brain is still in development, adolescents are susceptible to risk-taking, and seeking social approval, and can therefore be vulnerable to engaging in behaviours that lead to screen time addiction. If you notice any of the following behaviours that persist beyond your ability to manage, perhaps consider speaking with a professional.

Red Flags for Addiction:

• Reduced face-to-face socialising with family and friends
• Refusal to spend time with family
• Mood swings
• Increasing aggression
• Difficulty moderating time spent online
• Failure to tend to school work, eating, showering
• Secretive behaviour
• Limited time spent on previously enjoyed hobbies

Finally, enjoy screen time as a family, and continue working on a ‘togetherness’ approach.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below and suggest any topics you'd like to see covered in future blogs – your input is invaluable to us!