We've all heard of the fight or flight response. We go into survival mode when threatened by something or someone. We either put up our fists or take off running (literally or metaphorically). Students often go into survival mode when they feel threatened by an overwhelming cognitive task or confusing text, or when they are called on and don't know the answer, or are confronted or teased by another. Can one even learn in such a setting?
When we don't feel threatened at all, we have a willingness to be vulnerable, to be open to new ideas and guidance from others -- the ideal learning scenario!
Happiness Impacts Performance
Think about your own job. When you are having a bad day, how is your job performance? Does that speeding ticket you got on the way to work play into how you act in your morning meeting? If you got up early without much sleep, are you able to easily turn in that big project? The same goes for kids.
If they are stressed, if they haven’t slept well, if they are just overall not happy about life right now—all of that will play into how well they do in class, how they interact with their friends, and how much they can really hear and learn that day. Student happiness directly correlates to student academic performance.
We know that to engage students in deeper learning -- those times we really stretch their thinking -- there is a certain vulnerability they must surrender to. It's a magical mix of willingness and curiosity. So how do we get them there? This series will focus on what parents and carers can do to best support children to reach their potential.
1. Get Happy with Yourself
Extensive research has established a substantial link between parents who feel depressed and “negative outcomes” in their children, such as acting out and other behavior problems. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective.
2. Teach Them to Build Relationships
Spend the time to teach kids how to relate to others. Rather than saying “Hey, knock it off” when kids don’t get along, encourage them to work out solutions to the issues they are having to keep all sides happy. Building healthy relationships can also start with encouraging kids to perform small acts of kindness to build empathy. This not only builds essential skills but also makes your children better people.
3. Expect Effort, Not Perfection
Note to perfectionist helicopter parents and tiger parents: cool it.
Parents who overemphasise achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids.
The research is very consistent: Praise effort, not natural ability.
Studies have shown that the majority of the kids praised for their intelligence wanted the easier puzzle; they weren’t going to risk making a mistake and losing their status as “smart.” On the other hand, more than 90 percent of growth mindset-encouraged kids chose a harder puzzle.
Look out for more ways to help children reach their potential in the next issue.
The above information and more can be found at:
